Parents separating can be difficult for the entire family. But following these three simple rules can help make divorce easier on your children.
Rule 1: Make Divorce Easier On Your Children By Watching What You Say In Front Of Them
Even very young children pay attention to what you are saying, especially if they know it’s about the other parent. Just as arguing in front of children can be detrimental, so can bad mouthing someone they love, even if it’s not directed at them.
This includes facial expressions and body language. Kids will pick up on you tensing up or making a mean face whenever you talk about dad.
Rule 2: Make Divorce Easier On Your Children By Not Grilling Them On The Activities Of The Other Parent
It’s natural to be curious about what your ex has and what they are doing, but your child is not the appropriate source of information. Unless it’s directly related to their safety, avoid making your children report on what happened at the other parent’s house.
This can be very stressful for children, who don’t feel comfortable being in the middle. If they are constantly questioned about the other parent, it could (falsely) indicate to them that the other parent is doing something wrong.
It’s acceptable to ask if they had fun with mom, but not acceptable to grill them about what she bought, who she talked to, etc.
Rule 3: Make Divorce Easier On Your Children By Not Treating Them Like Your Therapist
I see this happen a lot with parents of teens. They feel that since the child is mature enough to know what is going on, that it’s acceptable to talk about details of the divorce with them, including details about affairs.
This is not ok!!!
Involving a child, even a teenager, in the details of their parents divorce is detrimental to their well-being, and could constitute parental alienation.
It can be very difficult to put your anger aside when you are in the middle of a divorce, but doing so will make the divorce easier on your children. No matter what your relationship is with your ex, they will always be your child’s parent so you have to learn to deal with them in a way that does not hurt your child.
If you are ready to take control of your life and move forward with your NY divorce, schedule your consultation today.