Dating During Divorce: How to Do it The Right Way

joleenapickett@gmail.com/ February 16, 2016/ Blog

The divorce process can be long, and naturally you may be ready to move on before the judgement is signed.

Often times the relationship was over long before the divorce was filed and the parties wonder if dating during divorce is a good idea.

DOWNSIDES TO DATING DURING DIVORCE

There are some downsides to dating during divorce. It can further fuel the anger of the former spouse, which can make the divorce process more difficult emotionally. They may refuse to cooperate, alienate the children, or take other steps to further delay the proceedings.

Dating during divorce is even more complicated when young children are involved. They may not have fully come to terms with the divorce and may resent the dating parent.

There are also upsides to dating during divorce. The process can be long, even years in some cases, and you may not feel the need to put your love life on hold while waiting on the papers to be signed.

BENEFITS TO DATING DURING DIVORCE

One of the biggest benefits to dating during divorce is the feeling of confidence and positivity. If your divorce is dragging on it can feel good to get out and meet new people. Being back on the dating scene can boost your confidence and self esteem and generally be a positive thing in your life during a difficult time.

Going on dates can be fun and keep you from thinking of the more depressing aspects of divorce. Instead of being sad at home when you children are with the other parent, you can be out having a great new experience on a date.

Dating during divorce is a personal decision, and whether it’s a good idea for you depends on your situation. If you decide that dating during divorce is the right thing for you, there are several ways you can make transition as smooth as possible.

HOW TO DATE DURING DIVORCE

Make sure you’re emotionally ready.

Some people have grieved over the end of their relationship before filing for divorce. For others the pain is still fresh. Deal with the end of your marriage before starting another relationship.

Take it slow.

You can have fun and go out on dates without being in a serious relationship.

Talk to your lawyer before moving in with a new partner during your divorce.

It can have effect on maintenance (spousal support), division of property, or other aspects of the divorce.

Be very delicate about introducing your children to a new partner during a divorce.

New relationships are unstable so it may be a good idea to hold off on introducing young children to someone new, especially during divorce.

Even if you are in a long term relationship and want to introduce your children to your new partner, it’s important to take it slow. Talk to them about the new partner before the introduction. Make sure that they understand that this person is not replacing their other parent and that they will still have your full attention.

Overnights should not occur there has been multiple “day dates” with the children. And remember that your parenting time is time for the children and your focus should be on them more than your partner. Make sure there the new partner is not always around and the children actually get one on one time with you.

While your needs are very important, the needs of your children matter the most. If they are struggling with the divorce, do not introduce them to a new partner until the divorce is finalized.

Be prepared to be judged.

Many people will disagree with your decision to date during divorce and consider it cheating.

Ultimately it’s your life and your decision. As long as you are aware of the risks and how to deal with them, you should be equipped to make the right decision for you.

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